Revisiting Life

In March of 2020, I chose to retire from corporate life and step into the next phase. That phase where you are in control of your time, what you need to do, and what you want to do. Sounds fantastic, and especially when work load pressures have taken a toll on your sleep, hair and midriff. I kept telling myself – I don’t want to move onto a wheelchair from a chair with wheels!

The transition

The initial days of euphoria began to wane as weeks went by. It was replaced with a sense of emptiness, questions as to what my identity is and what my purpose in life now is. Most importantly, how would I meaningfully fill those hours in the day.

For a while, I silently suffered the pains that came with this shift- where I moved from a structured lifestyle to one where I alone determined what the structure would be – or should be! This feeling can be all consuming, with negativity being the dominant emotion. If left unattended, this will certainly result in frustration, strained relationships, health concerns, anxiety and depression, among others.   

For sure, this is avoidable. There are lots of self-help material out there but, key is to actually do what needs to be done. Almost everyone advocates taking on a new hobby or rekindle old ones. Absolutely true, but easier said than done! As I bumbled along with different things, I discovered that many things which excited me in my younger days, no longer did. Except for reading. But how much can one read – I certainly couldn’t fill my many hours with just reading books or watching television.

More on this later.

The Anxiety and Adjustment

I therefore made a conscious effort to accept my reality. Reflecting on the past, I acknowledge that my identity was work related. And so were many of my relationships – most of which disappeared as soon as I walked into the sunset. Some have remained, some have resurfaced. I know today who my friends are.

Covid-19 happened and everything changed. But it gave me an opportunity to rethink my life. In October of 2020, we relocated to Bangalore. I was not sure what Bangalore held in store, as we settled into a completely new environment. Our daughters were by our side and helped us settle in. Needless to say, this move was stressful. 

But then

 “Winter always turns to Spring” – Nichiren Daishonin

and the flowers will bloom again.

Per chance, I met people who too had retired from active working life. A small group of them were nature lovers and photographers. Photography was a hobby that I had pursued in the past, but with the pressures of life, had fallen by the wayside. And here was an opportunity to start. I joined them in their exploits and soon enough I found myself addicted to bird photography. I also began to study and learn about bird behaviour. My life took a different fun-filled direction.

I also began to nurture my new found and older relationships.

Two years down the line, I decided to start this blog. I had no idea how to go about it. However, using several online guides and tools, I finally managed to design and activate this site – all by myself. I was proud – I seemed to be learning every day.

Purpose in life

A lot of the material I read when I was struggling to adjust, speaks a lot about finding a purpose in life. I must admit I did spend a lot of time trying to determine my purpose.  I read Victor Frankl’s book multiple times, but this profound purpose eluded me, adding to my stress.

Finally, one day the penny dropped! I decided to Enjoy life to the fullest doing what gives me most enjoyment which includes, among many other things spending time with my friends and relatives – nurture my relationships.

Sound’s simple doesn’t it – life’s purpose can be as simple as that.

Today, it is my belief that I have found my balance in life.

This blog will essentially address my pursuits with photography and random thoughts from everyday life including reminiscing about events that have shaped my life…

Partha Purkayastha